the marriage casualities

okay, i'm at that age where all my friends (from hs or college) are getting engaged or married. congrats. i am sincerely happy for you and wish you lifelong happiness.

okay, now i'll rant. did you all conspire to get married/engaged within a few months of each other? honestly?! let's look at the total THIS YEAR ALONE (2006):
February: 1 wedding
June: 1 wedding
July: 1 wedding
August: 2 engagements
September: 1 wedding
October: 2 weddings, 1 engagement

i know we're all at that age when people get engaged and married, but c'mon!!!! i wish i had something nice to say about that, but i think i'll just go sulk in my office some more. i'll show them when i'm a ph.d. and making money. with my fabulous job. and living with my cat. in a wonderful apartment overlooking the better end of boston.

or something like that.


i guess i just didn't see my life at this point being like this. i like what i do. i love research and academia most of the time, but sometimes it feels like there's a whole bunch of my life missing. careers are awesome, but it seems like there has to be more than just a stupid job in a stupid university. before you give me the "but you're only 23" lecture, i know. just let me feel sorry for myself at finding another friend of mine is engaged.

"linus and lucy"

i started to listen to christmas music today. i needed some music with good cheer. i know it's not even halloween yet, but at least there's no tree in my apt nor have i hung lights. i just wanted a little music to make my day a little more smiley. i promise to not torture anyone else with my early holiday cheer.

currently on my itunes player: a charlie brown christmas.

thanks feet lovers

so i just had to make my photo of my freshly painted toes from this spring "private" because of the um, let's say impolite comments. and the fact that it's been viewed like 181 times. yeah, okay. i don't want someone i don't know using my feet photo as some sort of foot-fetish porn. take your own pictures of your feet buddy.

in other news, i went to the pumpkin festival in keene, NH yesterday. my first visit to NH and i have to say it was quite pleasant. i love new england, if i haven't mentioned that before. anyway, there were like, thousands of carved pumpkins on display in the town and lots of food (because, really, what's a festival without food) INCLUDING pumpkin pie! YUM! i'm so glad it's that time of year where there'll be turkey and stuffing and pies! a little over a month until i get to go home for turkey day. i miss home a lot. but i digress. after dusk, they started lighting all the pumpkins. it was really lovely. i also got to spend the day with two of my sociology buddies. it was a good time.

i saw "the prestige" on friday - you have to see it. amazing movie. emjay and i saw it before going to get some yummy sushi from arigato's (i love that place!). i owe her for cheering me up :-).

I Am (n. nordeman)

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it’s two AM

when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and
the End, I am, yes, I am.”

(warning a melancholic post)

my bday is tomorrow. despite feeling very unexcited about it (my special someone can't be here this weekend if i want to see him in november AND i hate the idea of being 23, even though nice people try to reassure me that it's not old. i know it is.), i will try to enjoy it. i plan to sleep in, do minimal amount of work, sleep some more, go to the gym, shower and go to dinner. i'm having dinner with some friends at osaka, a japanese steakhouse in town. we're eating at a hibachi table, something several of my friends have never done. mj's a little worried about this because she doesn't want to see meat cooked in front of her, but i assume will be okay. not sure what the post-dinner plans are, but i need to be out of my apt for a few hours, for um, reasons that i won't disclose on a public blog. i'm having dinner with ayse on saturday - bertucci's. yum. and that will be the bday weekend. no major partying this year. i guess somehow i' think i might have grown out of that stage. ah, well. it was fun while it lasted.

my friends are all attempting to tell me to not do work tomorrow. it so much a part of my life, my routine now that i'm not sure if i can take a day off. we'll see. i need to work very hard this year. i'm already down to 46 weeks - actually less than that. i only have til the end of july to defend and revisions most certainly must be done by mid-august. otherwise, i will be more than SOL. so much more than that.

(in other news, it's been a hard day because i miss him so much.)

snowball of doom

clearly, this is the highlight of my work day.