the lesson from grad school

My adviser begins most conversations about my paper with, "I read this and thought, I can't believe she's leaving." Our most recent conversation (20 minutes ago) was peppered with this comment. She said that my paper was defensible, but it's good that I plan to write two more drafts. If was the first time that my paper actually had PAGES without marks or only one mark on it! I need to add more data and then move a few things around, but it should be done soon! And it won't be a crappy paper. In fact, Naomi wants to publish it. In Gender and Society. No, I'm not kidding. Gender and Society (for you non-sociologist, non-gender people: this is a big deal).

I am waiting on one more person to confirm my defense date, but it looks like I will be ready for that day!

After talking about my paper, Naomi looked at me and said, "I am amazed that you were able to push this paper out so quickly. And it's good!" I smiled. She then looked at me, "You know, you could do this career." It was awesome to hear, because I doubt that I'm good at this all the time. And I doubt that I could be successful at it. Maybe in a few years, after I've gotten my life priorities straight and don't have to worry about academia eating my life away or my workaholism I might come back. I just don't want this to be the definition of my life. I love sociology. I love it. But this can't be the only thing that defines me. I have enjoyed having more free time and more time for hanging out with people and actually enjoying life. During the school year, I don't have that. It might turn out that I come back. I might come back for my Ph.D. I might not. I know, now, that my success as a person is not in those three little letters after my name. If that was the only lesson I learned in grad school, these two stressful, expensive years will have been well-worth it. (Fortunately, I got my money's worth and learned a ton on top of all of this...)