the anniversary (ramblings)

august 11 marked my first anniversary for living in florida. it's been an amazing year. it was a easy/hard decision to move here. easy in that i knew this is where i should be and i was and am madly in love with my now-husband. still, the decision was difficult because it meant leaving everything that i was comfortable with and being challenged to live a different life. i've spent a lot of time wanting to go back. i can completely relate to the israelites shortly after they left egypt. they knew that God was calling them to their promised land, but it meant leaving everything that they were familiar with for something that they were not familiar. at some point-- at many points during their journey, they wanted physical and spiritual bondage over the blessing of God. i will be the first to admit that there have been many times when i thought it would be so much easier to move back to massachusetts and finish my degree.

that life was so much easier. i didn't realize how much easier it was. but we're not called to easy. easy means apathy and atrophy. growth comes from challenge. james writes,

2Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

going back means that i would not be moving forward. as much as i think that life in massachusetts (or delaware for that matter) would be easier, it would be so much harder because i would be living it for myself. it would have meant living in God's permissible will rather than His perfect will. i would be missing these character building moments. it's not that i want to go through these hard things, but i have had the opportunity to lean on God. this is the only way to learn. i'm so grateful that He things that i can learn. and it's more than character building. i wouldn't be where i am in my relationship with God if i didn't move down here and allow myself to be in a place where He can use me.

i was reading a book that really hit on eternity. this life is temporal. at some point each of us has to give account for our deeds and what we did with that which God gave to us. i don't want to stand in front of Him and say i lived a normal life and did normal things and that's all i've done. having this eternal mindset has really changed my priorities. if i'm not living for me here, then a lot of stuff just doesn't matter anymore.

i can't wait to see where the next year takes me.